Just a little pizza my mind
Over the years I've had quite a number of occasions to partake in pizza parties, at the office, at social gatherings etc.. I for one, prefer Pepperoni. Not only that, I won't eat pizza that has anything other than meat cheese and sauce, although occasionally I have picked that crap off, it's just not worth it. Now here's what gets me steamed up. I will use the office party example. They go around and take a census of what pizza folks like. Almost everyone says, oh...Supreme, Hawaiian, or Vegetarian. There has rarely been a time where more than myself and perhaps one other has said, Pepperoni only please. Invariably, the result is that in an order of say, ten pizzas only one is pepperoni only. Can you see where this is going? When the pizza arrives, the greedy bastards descend on the pies like vultures. And unless Grumpy had strategically positioned himself at the front of the swarm, which is quite undignified and out of character for me, he is usually out of luck, because the Pepperoni pizza has already been taken, so now Grumpy has to pick peppers and mushrooms off his pizza or go without. You can't get the flavors of those things out of the cheese. Sad I know. Seriously, is it a life-altering event, no, but it is entirely uncalled for with a bit of forethought.
Here's the part that no one seems to get, no one seems to have ever put together. People who like Supreme, or Hawaiian, and even people that like Vegetarian, but are not vegetarians themselves, all like Pepperoni pizza too. And when the chow bell rings, people are grabbing the first slice they find that is edible to them, pepperoni included. I don't know how many times I've seen the slick-haired prick who insisted on Supreme smacking his lips on a sweet heavenly slice of my pepperoni pizza. "Oh, were you the one who ordered the Pepperoni?" So please, I beg you, next time youre organizing one of these sorts of events please take a moment and factor in those of us with limited palates preferring Pepperoni. No one will ever complain if the Supreme runs out with a Pepperoni pizza sitting next to it. World (Pizza?)Peace is possible if we all work together.
Here's the part that no one seems to get, no one seems to have ever put together. People who like Supreme, or Hawaiian, and even people that like Vegetarian, but are not vegetarians themselves, all like Pepperoni pizza too. And when the chow bell rings, people are grabbing the first slice they find that is edible to them, pepperoni included. I don't know how many times I've seen the slick-haired prick who insisted on Supreme smacking his lips on a sweet heavenly slice of my pepperoni pizza. "Oh, were you the one who ordered the Pepperoni?" So please, I beg you, next time youre organizing one of these sorts of events please take a moment and factor in those of us with limited palates preferring Pepperoni. No one will ever complain if the Supreme runs out with a Pepperoni pizza sitting next to it. World (Pizza?)Peace is possible if we all work together.
2 Comments:
Grumpy, you should do stand up comedy! I don't know if you intended this one to be funny, but it sure has me laughing! I agree that the other ingredients do flavor the whole pie, and what a pain in the ass to pick it off (you can't ever get it all off). Myself, I will eat anything on my pizza except anchovies. Nothing ruins pizza like anchovies; anybody who orders them gets that whole pie to himself!
Even the most bitter medicine goes down a little easier with a bit of honey. When I'm at my grumpiest I can usually laugh at myself, and often it's just what it takes to snap the tension.
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