Trust Me, Sex Ain't THAT Good

Grumpy has been oft told that he marches to the beat of his own drummer, that his noodle has a way of synthesizing information thats a bit off from most folks. Be that good or bad, you hear something enough, I guess there's something to be said for it. Now what does that have to do with sex? Well something I came across recently just got me to wondering. I read about some youngin' over in Europe that committed suicide because he was still a virgin at the ancient age of 19. First off it reminded me of an old adage:"I used to feel sorry for myself because I couldn't get a girl, until I met a man who had no hands." Sorry for that mental image, but there's truth to be found in that little gem. Grumpy has been around for a while and I've had my share of companions both in and out of the boudoir. Some were great, some, well to be gracious, were, eh, not so great. When I say great, I mean, worthy of tales over beer at the local watering hole, without needing to exaggerate, myself deserving none of the credit, it was all her. Anyway, as good as it was, it ain't that good. I've had other experiences that were just as sensational. A beautiful sunset over the snowy mountains while skiing in the back country, or a perfectly prepared lobster tail with the right glass of wine. So while this young chap probably had some other issues, it's sad that something in his life made him believe not getting a piece of ass before he turned 19 was worse than dying. Now, reading over there on the Seminole Heights blog there's been some comments, juvenile ones at that, directed at Mr Luckytop. I won't further validate them by repeating them, but needless to say they were sophmoric and directed at his orientation. What does this have to do with the fellow in Europe? Well it got me to thinking about back in my time when homosexuality was thought to be either a mental disease or even sillier, a choice. Back in Grumpy's day a fellow could well get beaten to death for being outed. At best he might lose his job, his family, be ostracized by the community, all for "choosing" the beefcake instead of the cheesecake. Now that doesn't quite make sense does it? I mean, I can't say from experience, but I reckon the end result of the encounter is pretty much the same physically, emotionally and all that. Why would anyone risk all that for a particular way of rolling in the hay. We're not talking a few indiscretions, but a way of life. Again, sex ain't that good.
All this reminds me of a time when I was filling up my gas tank at a gas station near the Interstate up on Bearss. This has been a while back, but a couple of retirees pulled up at the other side of the pump and while the old-timer(hehe, look who's talking now) pumped the gas the Mrs. was sitting in the car. Well the feller started asking me about the area. They had been travelling for a bit and asked about the hotels, so I told them that the hotels in that area and just to the south were of the seedier sort and they might be better off going into downtown or out near the airport, the wife being a bit hard of hearing, and sitting in the car asked the old guy to repeat everything I said. Then he asked about good restaurants so I mentioned where the chain's were and threw in a plug for Malio's and the Colonnade, again, she exclaimed, "What did he say Irv?" Again the guy repeats everything, starting to show his frustration. About this time, I asked them where they were travelling from. Irv said they had driven all the way down from South Carolina. Before I caught myself I, I happend to blurt out, "South Carolina, hell the worst sex I ever had was with a woman in South Carolina." Of course the Mrs. didn't catch that and said "Huh, what did he say?" Irv, without missing a beat, said "He said he thinks he knows you!"
Back to the point above, you spend all your youth chasing tail, chasing a paycheck, chasing a promotion, so that by the time you're an old dog, all you have the energy for is sitting on the porch and well y'all know what old porch dogs do. He knows. Sex ain't that good. But then again it ain't that bad either.