Trick or treatin

This might come as a shock to some folks, but this is one of those holidays Grumpy don't really mind too much. It ain't like the 4th or New Year's where the hillbillies are poppin off noisemakers, this one is almost all about the kids. And usually it's all done and over with by 9 or so. What's not to like? Besides, its the one day a year when old Grumpy don't look so out of place. I don't even need a costume to scare folks with this mug of mine. No, Grumpy will keep the porch light on and pass out candy until it runs out. I heard they had us listed in the paper so I hope we don't get too many outsiders pillaging the treats before the neighborhood kids get their share. Happy Halloween.

If you can't learn how to drive it, don't buy it

People never cease to amaze me. The SUV's are the worst, but I see pickups and big cars do it too. The folks that are either too scared of driving something so big, or don't know where the limits of the car are. Constantly, you see them taking up two parking spots because they can't line up in a single one, or drifting over the line on the curves in traffic, or taking part of the other lane on narrower roads like Nebraska. A couple of other examples are the big R/V's too. The damn thing is as big as a truck but they'll let any old fart go buy and drive one. I know what you're going to say, Grumpy is an old fart too, but damn, I'm not out driving something the size of a semi down the road at 10 miles under the speed limit. Back to the other bunch though, they oughta make you take some sort of class if youre going to buy something bigger than a normal sized car. Hell they make you pass a special test to ride a motorcycle, and pretty much the only ones youre gonna take out on that is yourself. These little gals in the big SUV's don't even seem to be able to see out of the thing much less know where the corners of the vehicle are. It's like the title says, if you can't drive the thing down the road and stay in your lane, or park in a normal parking lot, buy something smaller, hell you might even save a little gas.

Inappropriate public displays of affection

Back in my day, a boy was lucky to get some time alone with a gal, school dances were no contact during slow songs. What's happened to what should be common decency and restraint? Just the other day I was trying to eat my dinner in a restaurant and this young couple was darn near having sex while they were waiting in line. Why? I ask. I mean, I'm not advocating a 6 inch rule(although who really knows what 6 inches really measures nowadays, reminds of a story I heard one time, ever wonder why women never were too good at home improvement tasks that require measuring, because men have been telling them that "it" really was six inches their whole adult life). Anyway, what I'm saying is a quick kiss, and a hearty hug is certainly acceptable, but save the open-mouth kissing and groping for somewhere more private. If we want to see that stuff, we'll stop in one of those naughty shops or do paperview, or hell just turn on those rap videos, thats almost as good.

Drive-through dingbats

Today I thought I'd post about drive-through window idiots. Customers, not employees, that might be a whole other post one day. There's a couple of different breeds aof this animal. First off, there's the people who don't really have any idea what they want when they get to the window and will sit there forever before they order, or ask dumb questions like "Does the quarter pounder with cheese come with cheese or is that extra?" Or "What kind of fish is in the fish sammich" We're not talking fresh catch of the day here people! It's supposed to be "fast" food. These people are the lightweights in the fastfood idiot world however. A minor annoyance that cause only a slight delay.
Next up the list are a certain type of person whom you can almost always count on to invidiually order and pay with 4 or more people in the same car. Now, get this, everyone would be faster, including those folks if they got their lazy butts out of the car and went inside, but no. They have to pull up to the window, pass the money back and forth for each person in the car. Those are in a dead heat with the next breed of drivethrough dingbat.
The full minivan or SUV! Little league team decides to hit McDonald's on the way home from the game and they decide the best course of action is to go through the drive-through. Now you get 10 different orders, and a lot of kids are picky so its not just 10 cheeseburger happy meals. Sheesh, so much for convenience.
Grumpy's doc has advised him to lay off the fast food, so it's not like I gotta put up with these folks all the time, but it seems like every time I'm in a hurry or just get a craving for those fries and find myself in the drive-through one of these not so elusive beasties is in line ahead of me. And I don't have my dingbat stamp for my huntin license.

No free parking, go to directly to the poorhouse, do not pass go and do not collect $200

So thats how the city is going to punish Seminole Heights, by trying to run out one of the successful and more popular businesses. Over on the Seminole Heights blog theres been a lot of talk regarding the parking issue at Cappy's pizza. Not sure how much is truth and how much is just rumor and conjecture, but someone mentioned that to meet the permit standard for occupancy the number is based on square footage, so the requirement would be on the order of 70 spaces. 70, is that a typo? The car lots that dot Florida Ave have been very creative with parking on their lots and if you bulldozed the building and made a parking lot on the site instead, I'd bet that even those creative buyherepayhere dudes couldn't fit 70 cars on a lot that sized. Here's an idea for fund-raiser have a contest on how creatively you could fit 70 spots at Cappys, or any other single lot in Seminole Heights. Best way in the world to keep businesses down in Seminole Heights is applying these outrageous parking requirements. Palma Ceia Beef O Bradys is a comparably sized restaurant and they at best have about 10 spots and maybe another 10 shared with the other businesses in the building. Maybe that part of Tampa has "special" codes. And if parking was such an issue, why don't they do something about the residences that have parking lots in their front yards, 4 and 5 cars for a single family house. Or better yet, how about the county employee that parks beneath the no parking signs on Idlewild most nights. Don't apply unrealistic standards to the neighborhood please. I haven't been to Cappy's, but it seems to be pretty busy most of the time, so I reckon theyre doing something right.

One sure way to make your vote not count

Kombatrock's comment

Mr Kombatrock, I do share your concerns regarding the current questionable voting practices and politics in this country. The system is definitely broken, and the worst result of these problems is the loss of faith it's creating in the electorate. What scares me the most is how this plays right into the hands of those currently in power. A loss of faith in the system means fewer voters and apathy completely favors the Status Quo. High voter turnout would make the good old boys quake in their boots. A smaller voter pool is easier to manipulate and non-voters don't ask too many questions about the results. I liken it to playing the lottery, or the old saying by Publishers Clearing House. You can't win if you don't play. One election might not turn it around, but if people show up to the polls in record numbers, and things seem fishy, there'd a whole lot more folks to answer to. Right now, too many times people don't question it because they didn't even go to the polls.
I never said I cornered the market on grumpy, I posted something about that back a few months ago. There's a little bit of Grumpy in all of us. And if I had a dream like the one you mentioned, my grumpmeter would have probably pegged out if not blew up altogether.

Take two aspirin and don't call me, call the mortician

Knock on wood, I myself have been rather fortunate to live this long and never really need to spend much time with doctors or in a hospital for my own problems. I have spent a fair bit of time visiting or accompanying friends and loved ones there. The ER has to be the biggest misnomer I've ever heard of. In so many cases there is no emergency, just someone who feels bad and wants to be seen without an appointment. Here's the deal, if youre young and not pregnant most times if you feel like crap, its either because you didnt take care of yourself properly or you've got an ailment that many of the people around you have. Stop clogging up the system with your sniffles and sneezes and cases of the runs. I am sure people die every day because someone was bending a doc's ear about some rash they got after pulling weeds the weekend before, or spent some time with a coyote woman on Friday night. If you feel like crap call a doctor and make an appointment or use a walk-in clinic. All this sort of thing leads me to the title of this post.
Someone very dear to me passed along just over two years ago. She had been struggling with a form of cancer for a number of years and we all knew that it was only a matter of time. Unfortunately her time came earlier than perhaps it should have in a country with the level of care we should have available to those who really need it. Her end was punctuated by the hurricanes of 2004. She was hospitalized with pneumonia while she was evacuating from Hurricane Charley, because the system is overburdened she was rushed out well before she was ready to a nursing facility. They never treated her for the pneumonia, only the primary illness which she'd been dealing with for quite some time. Miscommunications in her transfer had her unmedicated for the pneumonia further and had her in physical therapy while she still had symptoms of pneumonia. We were told she would be coming home on the following Monday. She was rehospitalized on Friday and I received the call Saturday evening that she wouldn't make it through the night. She didn't, but she was surrounded by her loved ones at the end and for that I am grateful.
I am not shovelling out blame, because we are all human, and we will all pass on one day from one thing or another, but, the system failed her miserably. Everything was geared toward shuffling her off as quickly as possible to make room for someone else. Most of the staff I encounted on my visits were clearly overwhelmed and overworked. Someone, probably tired, or irritable, or simply had too many things going at once, didn't write something down, or tell someone the right things and so her care suffered for it, and it probably cut her life short. I'm sure the insurance company saved a bundle. Just think a moment the next time you rush off to the hospital for a runny nose, just think of what it might cost someone else.

Just a little pizza my mind

Over the years I've had quite a number of occasions to partake in pizza parties, at the office, at social gatherings etc.. I for one, prefer Pepperoni. Not only that, I won't eat pizza that has anything other than meat cheese and sauce, although occasionally I have picked that crap off, it's just not worth it. Now here's what gets me steamed up. I will use the office party example. They go around and take a census of what pizza folks like. Almost everyone says, oh...Supreme, Hawaiian, or Vegetarian. There has rarely been a time where more than myself and perhaps one other has said, Pepperoni only please. Invariably, the result is that in an order of say, ten pizzas only one is pepperoni only. Can you see where this is going? When the pizza arrives, the greedy bastards descend on the pies like vultures. And unless Grumpy had strategically positioned himself at the front of the swarm, which is quite undignified and out of character for me, he is usually out of luck, because the Pepperoni pizza has already been taken, so now Grumpy has to pick peppers and mushrooms off his pizza or go without. You can't get the flavors of those things out of the cheese. Sad I know. Seriously, is it a life-altering event, no, but it is entirely uncalled for with a bit of forethought.
Here's the part that no one seems to get, no one seems to have ever put together. People who like Supreme, or Hawaiian, and even people that like Vegetarian, but are not vegetarians themselves, all like Pepperoni pizza too. And when the chow bell rings, people are grabbing the first slice they find that is edible to them, pepperoni included. I don't know how many times I've seen the slick-haired prick who insisted on Supreme smacking his lips on a sweet heavenly slice of my pepperoni pizza. "Oh, were you the one who ordered the Pepperoni?" So please, I beg you, next time youre organizing one of these sorts of events please take a moment and factor in those of us with limited palates preferring Pepperoni. No one will ever complain if the Supreme runs out with a Pepperoni pizza sitting next to it. World (Pizza?)Peace is possible if we all work together.

Coke, Pepsi, does anyone really care?

OK, this is something that has long been a peeve of mine. And, I've always wondered if anyone has ever had a negative response. Server: May I take your drink order? Diner: I'll have a Coke please. Server: Is Pepsi OK? I mean I know folks have their preferences, but seriously has anyone ever changed their order based on that? Diner: Oh Pepsi, you don't have Coke? Not even a can in the back? Perhaps you could run over to the 7-11? No? Well I guess in that case I'll take a glass of tea instead.
I could maybe see 7-up or Sprite, just maybe. Definitely the Dr Pepper vs Mr Pibb, not even close in taste but Coke vs Pepsi. Sometimes I just say Coke or Pepsi, or whatever Cola ya got. The question just seems dumb to me.
Have a Coke and a Smile.

Activism, Apathy, and A$$holism

The way I see it there are pretty much three camps when it comes to community issues. Community can be local, regional, or even national. It boils down to those who do something about it, whichever side they take. Then there are those who either don't know about the issue, or don't care enough to get involved. Again, caring could mean that it's something that doesn't affect them or those they know, not that they actively chose to ignore it. Well then you got what I call your asshole bunch. These are the folks whose sole contribution is to piss and moan about the issue with nothing constructive to offer. Stop your whining! If you don't like something about how the city is doing something, Goldarnit then get involved. Don't just post anonymous comments on a blog, or bitch over coffee at Nicko's or to your neighbor about how it oughta be this or that. Talk is cheap unless you're talking to those who can make change. I'm not sure which is worse. Apathy can certainly be more dangerous given that most people seem to choose this course. But, it's the assholes that make everyone, particularly in Seminole Heights, seem like a bunch of spoiled whiners who don't even show up to the polls when they get their chance.
Speaking of that, here's another thing, people, VOTE! The turnout numbers for voters these days is atrocious. You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I'm not gonna lecture you about how so many people died for you to have an opportunity to have a voice in your government(They did) or how every vote makes a difference(It does). All I'm saying is given that you have all these newfangled options for voting, you got no excuse now. None, Zilch, Zippo buster. Now it boils down to the fact that either youre just plain lazy or just don't care. Its pretty danged scary to think that it might be that you just don't care anymore. Again, that much apathy to the way things are going these days scares the hell out of me. Youre only powerless if you choose to be. Get involved somehow. Theres an old saying about lead, follow, or get out of the way. I don't like that saying too much, because following and getting out of the way has led us to where we are today. We need more people to get involved. If you agree with something, support it, if you oppose something, take a stand against it, but don't just obstruct for the sake of obstruction. And for God's sake don't be an asshole.

Red light runners are ruining the planet

What is it with you people? Who the hell gave you such a sense of entitlement that you feel the rules of the road do not apply to your highness? I am not talking about squeezing the pink by slipping through under the cautionary yellow and the red light catches you midway. I mean you pricks that run right through the light after it has changed to RED. We all have those times where we might misjudge just how long that yellow light is going to hold out for us. Not excusing it, but I know it happens to all of us. What I want to know is how did we let it get so bad that now 3, 4, even 5 cars blow through an intersection, or people who clearly cannot exit an intersection, feel justified in entering and blocking it just to save a minute or two. Here's some advice, leave your house earlier, if you're racing to get somewhere, or get there a few minutes later and help your blood pressure, and the health of the rest of us who are law-abiding and courteous. We have several bad intersections in Seminole Heights, particularly along Hillsborough Avenue on either side of the Interstate. People pull into and block Central Avenue on nearly every cycle of the light. People blow through the red light at Florida 2 or 3 at a time. All of these things might save the perpetrator a minute or two, but in the grand scheme costs all of us by domino effect exponentially more time. I dare say that there has to bea very measurable economic and enviromental impact by the scofflaws when you factor the time, money spent on fuel and maintenance, the health care of increased stress, the spewing of that many more exhaust chemicals. The other day, I was driving west on Hillsborough, and traffic was backed up all the way past Armenia, stop and go. This was somewhat, but still near rush hour. Guess what the traffic was caused by. An accident, nope, a huge number of cars, not really, it was caused by a bunch of irresponsible, inconsiderate nincompoops on Himes to squeeze out one more light cycle and block Hillsborough. After that intersection, there was no traffic. Now all this backup on Hillsborough, was causing additional traffic on Armenia. Theres a chain reaction that spreads out the effect of these seemingly isolated events to impact traffic miles away. So next time you're considering running a red light, or blocking an intersection, think about it for a second. Was that two minutes worth it?

Don't need a hearing aid with these folks

This weekend, the Mrs. and I went out to Olive Garden restaurant. I love that there Never-ending Pasta Bowl. Well we got there just before what I guess is the after church rush and were seated promptly in a booth next to a party of three. Well no sooner did we attempt to converse with each other did the Foghorn let loose. Then the Diesel Locomotive piped in and the Jet Engine responded to both. I've been around a long time and never in my life have I heard even one person speak as loudly during normal conversation as these three yahoos. My dear lord sitting 6 feet away from them was painful and I have partial hearing loss from years of operating heavy equipment when I was younger. No exaggeration folks, when I went to speak to Mrs. Grumpy I could not hear my own voice with the Jet Engine gal was speaking. We asked to be moved and were promptly reseated about 4 booths away. Shortly thereafter the Rock Concert's food arrived and things settled down. Here's the thing. I've noticed this more and more when I've gone out. People don't lean closer to each other to talk when they're in a noisy restaurant anymore they just get louder, and then even within their own group, they don't wait their turn they just talk over the other person and it's not long before the caucophony is like sitting next to Niagra Falls. Thats definitely was what was happening with these three, they were just raising their own volume instead of waiting their turn in the conversation. Thank goodness they at least didn't talk with their mouths full or I might not have been able to even order with out getting a bullhorn to speak to the waitress.

Trust Me, Sex Ain't THAT Good

Grumpy has been oft told that he marches to the beat of his own drummer, that his noodle has a way of synthesizing information thats a bit off from most folks. Be that good or bad, you hear something enough, I guess there's something to be said for it. Now what does that have to do with sex? Well something I came across recently just got me to wondering. I read about some youngin' over in Europe that committed suicide because he was still a virgin at the ancient age of 19. First off it reminded me of an old adage:"I used to feel sorry for myself because I couldn't get a girl, until I met a man who had no hands." Sorry for that mental image, but there's truth to be found in that little gem. Grumpy has been around for a while and I've had my share of companions both in and out of the boudoir. Some were great, some, well to be gracious, were, eh, not so great. When I say great, I mean, worthy of tales over beer at the local watering hole, without needing to exaggerate, myself deserving none of the credit, it was all her. Anyway, as good as it was, it ain't that good. I've had other experiences that were just as sensational. A beautiful sunset over the snowy mountains while skiing in the back country, or a perfectly prepared lobster tail with the right glass of wine. So while this young chap probably had some other issues, it's sad that something in his life made him believe not getting a piece of ass before he turned 19 was worse than dying. Now, reading over there on the Seminole Heights blog there's been some comments, juvenile ones at that, directed at Mr Luckytop. I won't further validate them by repeating them, but needless to say they were sophmoric and directed at his orientation. What does this have to do with the fellow in Europe? Well it got me to thinking about back in my time when homosexuality was thought to be either a mental disease or even sillier, a choice. Back in Grumpy's day a fellow could well get beaten to death for being outed. At best he might lose his job, his family, be ostracized by the community, all for "choosing" the beefcake instead of the cheesecake. Now that doesn't quite make sense does it? I mean, I can't say from experience, but I reckon the end result of the encounter is pretty much the same physically, emotionally and all that. Why would anyone risk all that for a particular way of rolling in the hay. We're not talking a few indiscretions, but a way of life. Again, sex ain't that good.
All this reminds me of a time when I was filling up my gas tank at a gas station near the Interstate up on Bearss. This has been a while back, but a couple of retirees pulled up at the other side of the pump and while the old-timer(hehe, look who's talking now) pumped the gas the Mrs. was sitting in the car. Well the feller started asking me about the area. They had been travelling for a bit and asked about the hotels, so I told them that the hotels in that area and just to the south were of the seedier sort and they might be better off going into downtown or out near the airport, the wife being a bit hard of hearing, and sitting in the car asked the old guy to repeat everything I said. Then he asked about good restaurants so I mentioned where the chain's were and threw in a plug for Malio's and the Colonnade, again, she exclaimed, "What did he say Irv?" Again the guy repeats everything, starting to show his frustration. About this time, I asked them where they were travelling from. Irv said they had driven all the way down from South Carolina. Before I caught myself I, I happend to blurt out, "South Carolina, hell the worst sex I ever had was with a woman in South Carolina." Of course the Mrs. didn't catch that and said "Huh, what did he say?" Irv, without missing a beat, said "He said he thinks he knows you!"
Back to the point above, you spend all your youth chasing tail, chasing a paycheck, chasing a promotion, so that by the time you're an old dog, all you have the energy for is sitting on the porch and well y'all know what old porch dogs do. He knows. Sex ain't that good. But then again it ain't that bad either.

Why does everyone in Seminole Heights seem to hate the Riverwalk

Over the past couple of months I've seen a lot of mention in the comments on the Seminole Heights blog about Mayor Iorio's Riverwalk project. I wonder why there is so much focus on this single project. Now, I realize that many of the comments also go on about code enforcement, or this or that, but this one project just seems to raise such a huge uproar in and of itself. I've been around a while, and in that time, I've been a number of places. For years and years Tampa had one of the least inviting downtowns I've ever visited. I look back at the pictures by the Bergert Brothers and see that the downtown was once a vibrant and lively center of urban life. What happened? Up until just a couple of years ago Tampa's downtown looked the same as it did in the early 70's. Very very little changed. Did white flight and inept administration cause a time freeze? Whatever it was, Tampa was a fine example of "what not to do" in urban planning. The CBD isn't close to downtown. Chicken and egg arguments aside, hardly anything was ever open to attract people in the evenings or keep them around past quitting time. Parking was always a problem, transportation alternatives were either non-existent or were so poorly scheduled they were unusable. Met Min and the Salvation Army draw homeless people from all over. Downtown became a lonely and scary place after 5:00.
Now I see these beautiful concept drawings of a park along what could be a lovely waterway. What a grand idea! Drive down Bayshore any evening and you see loads and loads of people young and old alike out on along the bay. If you build it, they will come as they said in that baseball movie. If Bayshore is any example people will certainly utilize this new linear park. I've heard folks poo-poo'ing about how no one will use it because theres no parking. I don't recall Bayshore having any dedicated parking either, but there's no shortage of people there. Not a whole bunch of parking for the Friendship Trail on the old Gandy bridge either, but it always seems to have fisherman, and bikers, and runners, and walkers too. People will find a way.
Someone also mentioned homeless people being a problem. Now, I was in downtown Atlanta not too long ago. The wife and I went out to stroll in once of the downtowna park in the evening and yes there were homeless people. It's a fact of downtown life, but it doesn't seem to keep people from getting out and using these public spaces. Adequate law enforcement I'm sure will take care of most of those sorts of problems.
I say build this beautiful park, I most certainly will take regular strolls along Tampa's waterfront.