Hallmark operatives are probably on their way to my house already

If this is my last post, you know what happened. See, it's like this. That day coming up in two weeks is a bunch of hooey. Mrs. Grumpy and I used to buy into it like everyone else, but after a few years of having arguments and disappointments we just dropped out. No more Valentine's Day. Now, don't get me wrong, Grumpy ain't nothin' if he ain't a romantic. But I don't need some made up day to tell me when and how to treat my gal like she deserves to be treated. A card out of the blue. Flowers for no reason at all. Even a goose on heiny or peck on the cheek when no one is looking. All these things are how you tell someone that they're pretty darned special to you. If you have to let the greeting card companies do that sort of thinking for you, you've already lost it. If you make her feel special on Feb 12th, or April 18th or August 1st then Feb 14th is just another day no better, no more special, and certainly no less. Just my wooden nickel's worth of wisdom.

Dynasties are ok for the NFL, but keep them out of the White House

I woke up this morning and the headline just about slapped me in the face. Who needs coffee with a shock like this. "I'm coming Elizabeth! I'm coming!" Not that it's any real surprise. I figured she was jockeying for a run a while back. Still, we need some fresh blood in the Oval Office, no pun intended. We've had too many years of the Bush's and Clinton's, how about some new ideas. Let's put someone who's only suspected of being a crook instead of someone who has such a questionable history of unethical behavior. Either way, let's give some new person a shot at it, what's the worse that can happen?

Redner or Randy, I'm gonna have to chew on this one a bit

Now, it may surprise some of y'all, but I voted for Mr. Redner during the last election. I know, I know, with my ranting about the streetwalkin' y'all might have thought that I'd be die-hard against the "stripper king" of Tampa. Well Grumpy can still surprise you, I voted for him. I was ready for a change, and it would've been pretty interesting to shake things up with someone as storied as Mr. Redner. Now I see that he's entering the District 1 race. This one is gonna be tough call for me. I've seen some positive action during his time as the president of OSHNA by Mr. Baron who is also in that race. I am sure that Mr. Baron will also bring some focus to problems plaguing our neighborhood that have been overlooked for a long time.
Don't get me wrong. Mr. Redner, while I think he has some good ideas, has me much more interested in the "shake-up" factor than his policy. The council could use some indigestion to get some things moving.
So there you have it, I just have to decide to vote for heartburn or the hood.
Either way, I hope all of y'all get out and vote.

Looking for a hooker in Tampa you sick puke? You need help, find it here.

Perhaps that wasn't too sensitive of me, but I can't believe the number of people surfing over to my little spot here on the Internet because they did a search about hookers in Tampa. Now I'd like to believe some of them are looking for fishing tackle, but the cynic in me knows otherwise. Well now, if you get your rocks off by picking up some nasty streetwalker you might want to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself if you might have a problem. I reckon they call it sexual addiction though personally I think you're just plain disturbed. I mean again, just think about it, who does that? Prostitutes carry all sorts of potential problems and you might just bring that stuff back home with you. I ain't one to preach, but for Pete's sake get some help, or just stop.
Surf your nasty butt over to one of these places and seek some help or maybe find a shrink.

Sexual Addiction Help
National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (NCSAC)
Sexual Addiction Recovery Resources

I think I just might open a fishing store and call it Hookers on Nebraska, think of all the free advertising.

Filthy creatures

This is gonna be short, but I just have to say something. What is it with people who think of the world as one big landfill? I was behind these folks on East Hillsborough the other day, and out the window flies a full MacDonald's bag of trash, the cup followed soon after. The filthy beasts, is it so hard to find a proper place to dispose of your garbage? I would hate to see what these yahoo's home looks like. And another thing whats with those folks that put their garbage cans out three days before pickup and then leave them out empty the rest of the week? In my travels I've seen some places where the street looks like every day is trash day. New York was like that last time I was there. We don't need our neighborhood to follow that path. Just take it out the evening before and drag it back in the following day, is that so difficult? If you noticed, I've refrained from calling the folks above animals, didn't want to insult them, the animals that is.

All new meaning to a taxi ride

When you get to be my age, you sometimes think you'd seen it all, but then life throws you a bone to tell you it's always gonna be stranger than the stuff you make up. Last night the missus and me went to dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse and were travelling back home. We always drive up Nebraska and it's not all unusual down south of Martin Luther King that we see ladies of the evening. We always call the police and hope that they take care of it. Last night we were just a bit south of Columbus and there was this gall dressed up in what I thought was Halloween costume. She looked like a taxicab in a miniskirt. Hell even her hat said "Taxi" The way she was making eyes at Grumpy told us all we need to know about her attentions. Trust me, at my age, gals that age don't do a whole lot of flirtin in my direction unless they got alterior motives. Well her outfit led me to wonder there was gonna be a whole new code for doing that sort of business, you know How much is the fare for a ride? Going downtown or uptown, or just around the block? That sort of thing. I just hope that she got a ride in the bluelight cab to the hooscow.

The usual suspect

Well now, I never thought when I got to be my age I'd find myself at a home improvement store so often. But as luck would have it, all the puttering and tinkering I do around the old homestead has me in Home Depot way more often than I'd have figured. There's a few things about that store that bother me, but one has been gnawing on me for a while now. Lately I've been panhandled in the parking lot in every increasing frequency. I haven't run across this at other stores around, but this one it's happening more and more. Usually I call the manager and he/she assures me it will be taken care of.
I have sympathy for folks down on their luck, but hitting me up in the parking lot of Home Depot ain't the way to do it. Hell, folks come out of there wielding hammers, and two-by-fours, and might just be frustrated enough with one of them newfangled self-checkouts that they just might snap. Anyway, then I figured, why don't Home Depot pay those guys a nickle a cart or something for bringing em back in that would solve two problems at once. Nah, doubt that would work as the beggars probably wouldnt do it, and the bleeding hearts would cry that the cart caballeros were being taken advantage of. Oh well, guess I'll have to keep shaking a box of ten-penny nails at em to fend them off.

Shopping cart rodeo clowns

We've all been here: You pull into a parking lot, and there it is, a shaft of light from the heaven's above beaming down on that primo parking spot, right up near the front and bam! As you round that SUV you're thwarted by a shopping cart left right in the middle of the spot. Dagnabit!
The way I see it this here's a double-sided problem, in general people seem to be getting lazier, and with the cutbacks on personnel there are fewer and fewer folks to round up these free ranging carts. One of the worst places around is the Home Depot on Florida..that place is like the frontier days on the Great Plains, carts running loose all over the range. All it takes is a little effort to walk one of these domesticated beasts of burden over to the corral so at least they're not bumping into cars or taking up valuable real estate. Here's a suggestion, why don't they make a game out of it or at least entertaining? Hire one of them rodeo clowns for the parking lot, and if you round up one of these critters, he'll make you a balloon animal. If'n he's not busy then he can lead the roundup himself. It would be nice if everyone just pitched in and walked the cart to it's corral. It's the right thing to do. Don't be one of those shopping cart clowns unless it's in your job description.